The Dedication to Intramurals- Eric Boshart
As we all know, intramurals are just starting up, with flag football, racquetball, and volleyball already “setting” off a few days ago (I won’t do that again, I promise). Dodgeball is coming up on October 22nd, and Inner Tube Water Polo begins on October 6th (What the hell is Inner Tube Water Polo?). And I know some of y’all could not be more excited.
This article is in honor of all the people who are so fervently dedicated to intramurals. Watching some of you play a preliminary dodgeball game is like watching gladiators fight for their freedom. I’ve never seen so much passion for something so nominal. But don’t think I’m making fun of you. I’m simply admiring your bravery and the fact that you found yet another thing to help you procrastinate on writing that assignment. I swear, if some of you avid intramural competitors put that much time and energy into your coursework, we’d have some serious academics. Instead of preparing for dodging those balls by doing 15 sets of 30 squats every day, why don’t you take 20 minutes to read a few pages for Rhet & Comp I? But seriously guys and gals: the dedication is remarkable.
You all, the future mothers and fathers who live vicariously through their athlete child, you all are the reason the school is still breathing. Have you seen Tennis Singles? You all break your racquets like you’re sponsored by Adidas. And flag football? Way to tackle like you actually miss Ray Lewis. And don’t get me started on the 7v7 Soccer Tournament coming up on November 16th. I’ve never heard so many languages at once. It’s the FIFA World Cup final out there, and it’s all nations against all nations.
But go ahead; sweat out the pain of having to write annotated bibliographies. Build friendships off the common ground that you both like to peg people with cushion-y things. Leave it all on the volleyball court as you miss your rent payment. It’s important to have these escapes, and the fact that you release your tension in something that benefits St. Ed’s is noble.
For the first timers who are interested in joining an intramural team, be ready to take it way too seriously. Your girlfriend/boyfriend will have a serious talk about you not spending enough time with her/him. Your professor will ask you to come into office hours, and when you do, the dean of your department will be standing in the corner whispering: “We need to talk.” Don’t panic; just explain to them that you have three-a-days in preparation for your first 3v3 Basketball game in three months. Depending on what department you study under, your explanation could be received in a number of ways.
I have to briefly mention that I once was an intramural maniac. I won 1st place in the 5v5 basketball tournament, and the only games we lost were the ones in which I was out with some torn tendons in my foot (I still hold on to much of my intramural pride). How did I tear those tendons? Why, practicing for the next intramural game, of course.
So once again, congrats to all you commendable psychos who play to the death even when no one is watching. Who said dodgeball was a spectator sport? Not this guy.