My experience with the 90s- Eric Boshart
I thought of creating a fiction piece about a little kid downloading music illegally in the 90s and getting relentlessly pursued by the federal government, but that would make the 90s impersonal. And honestly, the 90s were the greatest years of my life.
The 90s was Wonderballs and the tongue twister of the commercial. It was Beanie Babies that are now still worth nothing, despite everyone saying they’d be worth thousands by now. It was Pokemon cards and catching my friend pulling a Charizard from his sleeve literally every game (think of a new strategy, Jeffrey). It was Batman action figures, all 22 of them. At ten bucks apiece, I feel bad for my mom. It was Pokemon Snap for the Nintendo 64, trying to get a picture of Snorlax waking up. It was telling on my older brother for cursing at his pizza for being too hot. Is my intention of making me sound awesome working?
I think the 90s represents loud and direct follow-your-dreams statements. It was a time of infinite clichés, and this is why I think I’m a cynical person now. The cheesiest of decades, the 90s taught all kids that being hip consisted of a fanny pack on your hip, that being gnarly didn’t mean to be rabid.
The ultimate cheese was Velveeta (still is?) and the ultimate “cheese” commercial was every Nerf commercial. Be an honorable warrior on the battle field against your friends? How about be stuck under your couch looking for that Styrofoam ammo. I was literally stuck under my sofa one time.
But my most potent memory of the 90s? It could be when this girl paid me 5 dollars a day to be the father when her and her friends played ‘House’ during recess, but because I don’t want to sound like a child pimp, I’ll describe a different one. One night, while asleep, I ran downstairs and began yelling at my mom. I was demanding that she give me numerous trophies. Inferiority complex, much? She sat me down and explained to me that I didn’t need trophies, but I found her answer unsatisfactory. So I ran outside and walked through the streets extremely frustrated. I just wanted to be rewarded for nothing; is that so much to ask? My mom eventually brought me back in and directed me to my bed. I woke up the next morning like I didn’t do the weirdest thing my mom had seen in awhile. The best part? I did a variation of this like four more times.
The 90s puts a distinct taste in everyone’s mouth, and all 90s babies should appreciate growing up during the corniest age in history.