A Comment on Killer Whales

Killer Whales- Nick Fuentes

Shamoo, or as those know-it-all scientists say, Orcinus Orca, is a misunderstood creature. Yeah, a killer whale looks like a hell of a lot of fun when you see a trained professional attempting stunts with one at Sea World, but have you ever thought about how dangerous that job really is? I have, and I only bring this up because killer whales are dangerous, man-eating monsters. Adorable, but also murderers. All of the sudden this article has taken a turn in the wrong direction.

Killer whales are my favorite animals because they are so damn intelligent. Countless footage exists of these giant geniuses playing games with their prey. That’s right; orca whales are so smart that they’ve become bored of their easily catchable prey, so they play with their food before consuming it. Rays, schools of fish, sea lions, and even sharks fall victim to these thug whales. Also, Orcinus Orca is more closely related to dolphins than whales. You’re a sneaky bastard Shamoo; you even have the masses fooled into believing your lies of being a whale.

Intelligence wouldn’t mean much if killer whales had an every-whale (dolphin)-for-himself attitude, even Hilltoppers know you can’t do it all on your own. Which is the scariest part about these deep-sea terrors: they stick together… forever. Families of killer whales can contain as many as 200 whales; that’s 200 whales who communicate, who pass on tradition of diet and hunting technique, and most importantly who can hold a grudge.

After seeing CNN’s Blackfish, a special on captive killer whales in theme parks, I can say this… most of those orcas have tasted human blood at this point. I’m not one who is easily spooked, but think about those captive whales in this light. One, most of those whales hate humans, and I don’t know why (aren’t humans easy to get along with?). Two, by now they probably like the taste of human; all they’re missing is a glass of wine to wash down the McDonald’s-fed flesh of the average American person.  Three, once a killer whale communicates its like for human meat (or any meat, really) to other whales, the game is over.

Passing on tradition is the bread and butter of the orca whale. Passing on the tradition of how to hunt humans because they taste so nicely will be the end of any water related fun for human kind. I’m convinced that the only thing keeping us from being annihilated by those cute little bandits is the whole water ecosystem thing. But once they break the barriers of water dwelling… we’re screwed. Zombies are not and never will be real. But the threat of a group of pissed off and evolved orca whales scares the hell out of me every day.

All I’m saying is that we need to consider our actions a little more, especially in the case of Orcinus Orca, because who knows what those war machines are thinking up to revolt against us humans. No more shark week (it’s all recycled footage and information anyways). Let’s make room for killer whale week… where the real action is. Because like I said, even sharks are no match for a hungry orca.


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