Week 3 Predictions- Zach Busby
Kansas City Chiefs @ Philadelphia Eagles– Both teams boast overweight head coaches, but only one boasts a quarterback that has over-waited to be respected. Seriously, Alex Smith is off to such a good start that his back-up Chase Daniel should be a superstar in no time. Speaking of superstars, the Eagles seem to be loaded with them on offense. That’s probably why Chip Kelley left Oregon to coach them, either that or the fact that he would have been suspended if he stayed on as a college coach. The Eagles secondary really appreciate the fact that they could stay on the sidelines with Kelley and not affect the score at all.
Kansas City wins this game 27-20.
Houston Texans @ Baltimore Ravens- Look out for Ed Reed in his return back to Baltimore; he might use his Superbowl ring to blind Joe Flacco from the sidelines, since that’s where they both will be on Sunday. The Texans time of possession will be so high this week that Flacco will have to reassure his girlfriend that he still plays football. Seriously, how far in the rear-view does that Superbowl seem? Not nearly as far as it seems to the Texans in their binoculars, but still very far. Remember that Peyton threw for 7 touchdowns in week 1 against Baltimore, so look for Shaub to not do that at all, because he is not that good of a quarterback.
Houston wins this one 34-16
New York Giants @ Carolina Panthers- It is my firmest belief that Carolina is the best bad team in the NFL. Seriously, put these guys up against the Jaguars every week of the season, and they probably make the playoffs. Speaking of playoffs, apparently the Giants seem to be waiting to win a game until they are in the playoffs. It’s a bold strategy; let’s see how it works out for them.
This may seem cliché, but I’m calling for a tie in this one. 24-24
Green Bay Packers @ Cincinnati Bengals- Marvin Lewis can really use this game to teach his young quarterback Andy Dalton what an actual quarterback looks like. He can say things like, “That’s a spiral” and “See; you are allowed to throw the ball more than 15 yards.” And Andy can ask as he points to the opposing sideline, “Wouldn’t we win more games with that guy?” The answer is yes, because Aaron Rodger is so good Brett Favre will soon be known as that dude that played before #12. I look for Clay Matthews to make a lot of plays this week. Wait, did I say plays? I meant commercials.
Packers win 28-14
St. Louis Rams @ Dallas Cowboys- If Tony Romo can convince himself that the only way the Cowboys won’t make the playoffs is by winning this game, then they might have a shot at beating the Rams. Did you know the Rams won a game this year? Don’t feel bad; most people don’t. It’s not that they are a bad team, it’s just the concept of them winning a game is pretty far-fetched because no one knows who their running back is. But it’s also farfetched to assume Dallas won’t disappoint their fans.
Rams win 31-20
Cleveland Browns @ Minnesota Vikings- Christian Ponder seems committed to finding a way to lose games for his team, but the entire Browns organization seems to be working together to lose an entire season. How fitting is it that Cleveland is about to face a team who didn’t trade their franchise running back for late first round pick?
Cleveland loses 3-17
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ New England Patriots- Josh Freeman will look to the sidelines in New England and see what a real head coach looks like, then look back at his and run out of the stadium. Mike Glennon will come in and prove that New England can only beat rookie quarterbacks this year. IF by some miracle that doesn’t happen, then look out for a big upset this week.
Tampa wins 23-22 on a last second field goal.
Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints- The return of Sean Payton has even Drew Brees trying to remember who coached the Saints last season. But nobody can remember who played quarterback last season for the Cardinals, because no one actually did. They just threw footballs, mostly to the ground. I think Patrick Peterson threw for more yards last week than John Skeleton did last year. But Carson Palmer is just average enough to win some games against better teams this year, and that’s why this is my second big upset pick.
Cards win 19-13
San Diego Chargers @ Tennessee Titans- After a tough loss to the Houston Texans last week, the Titans seemed primed to become the best team ever. The Titans have never beaten the Chargers, and then again Manti Teo’ has never made an NFL tackle, but that doesn’t mean that it’s imaginary, I mean impossible.
Titans win 30-20
Detroit Lions @ Washington Redskins- This game will be the highest scoring game of the season. If that sounds ridiculous to you, just remember that some people wanted Kirk Cousins to start over RG3 this week. If he can treat every quarter like they are trailing by 20+ points in the fourth quarter, then RG3 can lead his team to their first victory of the season. But Stafford is playing against a secondary who appear to all be allergic to wide receivers, and Megatron is equivalent to 5 wide receivers. You do the math.
Detroit wins 55-42
Atlanta Falcons @ Miami Dolphins- Just so long as the Falcons don’t treat this game like a playoff game, they should find a way to win. But the Dolphins do have an awesome new logo and uniforms, and at the end of the day, isn’t that what fans are really cheering for? The fans will be very loud in Miami and create a playoff like atmosphere, shocking the Falcons.
Miami wins 32-28