More and More Couples Utilizing Furbies as Alternative to Children- Jana Horn
As the global population rise continues to be an issue of concern, couples of the “Furby Family 2014” movement think that they have the solution. More and more couples around the world are coming together to take a stand against both baby-booming and abortion–for the first time in decades, pro-lifers and pro-choicers can shake hands in the middle of their venn diagram and make amends. The proposed solution: bypassing babies altogether and making Furbies the children of the future.
Ever since the initial release of the Furby in 1998, individuals and couples have been taking advantage of this new technology as an alternative to having children. “They don’t even poop,” says Rebecca Rogers of Pennsylvania. Her husband added, “And the best part is, you can just take their batteries out when you’re tired of ‘em!” Couples are enjoying this non-binding commitment to their family members without the guilt they would have for a human child.
The “Furby Family 2014” website lists many advantages of having Furby children. Some highlights of the list include:
● Customize-Your-Baby: You can now be in a relationship with whoever you want and not have to worry about having ugly babies. Furbies come in 16 different color variations, have 24 language settings, and can be set to sing and dance.
● Total Obedience: Furbies are programmed to sleep when you tell them, shut up when you tell them, and die when you want them to. You can keep them out, or shove them in the closet! No more annoying crying or wetting the bed. Forget about time-out or bottle- feeding, these kids do what you tell them to, or your money back!
● Non-Disappointment Factor: Unlike human children, Furby children will never disappoint you. They can never develop drug habits, obtain/spread STDs, or get bad grades.
With continually updating software controlled by the government, these Furbies will always be evolving to suit your lifestyle.
The New and Improved Furbies will be on the market in early 2014, under the ad campaign “Furbies: Children of the Future.” More information can be found on their website, www.badbabygoodfurby.com.