Helloween- Nick Fuentes

St. Edward’s University has a surprising love for October 31st. Who would have known that all these super conservative business bros/pros celebrate the hell out of a pagan holiday? They aren’t very creative with their costume ideas though; business man zombie and politician zombie seem to be the go-to for everyone other than me. Oh and business casual zombie.

I elected to wear the same costume I used last year. It’s very simple, and if executed properly, it can provide great laughs from all the ladies. I wear a headband with a string attached that hangs in front of my face; on the end of the string is a leaf. Whenever anyone asks what I’m dressed as, I blow the leaf up with my mouth and say I’m a leaf blower. One night during Halloween week I dressed as Woody from Toy Story. I obviously put more effort into my costume when I go to 6th street. But my friends said I should avoid that costume idea next year, because apparently after 2 Four Lokos (that’s 8 Lokos) I became black-out drunk and wouldn’t stop shouting lines from the Toy Story movies. I even threw my boots at a group of men dressed like Smurfs as I shouted, “There’s a snake in my boots!”

The Helltop has a tradition of trick-or-treating on campus and making the entire Hilltop look like an actual Helltop. There was even a demon decoration (dressed like a business pro) placed on top of the tower of Main Building. When I found out about the organized trick-or-treating on campus, I squealed like a school girl, partly because a businessman  zombie jumped out of a dark area to tell me the news, and also because I was genuinely excited.

Of course, being the giant sham that it is, the Helltop strictly forbids the distribution of the good candy like Reese’s, Kit-Kat, Snickers, etc. Instead, by the end of the night, I had a pillow case (my roommate’s pillow case) full of graphing paper, raisins, black jelly beans, and dental hygiene products. This place managed to screw up the easiest holiday to celebrate. Dress like you’re not a brainwashed cog in the machine and give out candy and body shots like there’s no tomorrow- those are the only two rules of Halloween- and the Helltop screwed it up. In fifteen years of hardcore Halloween celebration I’ve never been the victim of the trick portion of trick-or-treating. Congrats Helltop, apparently there is a first time for everything, even being tricked into collecting a pillow case full of useless crap.

The only thing scary about celebrating Halloween on the Helltop is knowing that I’ll have to celebrate it a couple more times before I leave this place. And I never made it back to campus with my boots. Damn those Smurfs.


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